


I Was Dancing When I Was Twelve

by TheAddict4Dramatics



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Cute baby William, F/M, Fights, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Making Up, Stress, but nothing major, samantha angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27880417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAddict4Dramatics/pseuds/TheAddict4Dramatics
Summary: Scully watched as Mulder closed his eyes and breathed in the sound of their son. She was reminded of that night three years ago when his journey to find Samantha had finally ended and he’d looked up at the sky and told her that he was free. That was how he looked now: happy and free. Mulder opened his eyes and smiled at her and she knew they’d be okay.The anniversary of Samantha's disappearance in 2002 brings chaos, stress, fights, guilt and ultimately some pretty sickening young family fluff.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Kudos: 43





	I Was Dancing When I Was Twelve

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Cosmic Dancer by T-Rex

Scully came too slowly, growing more and more aware of a pressure in her lower back. It took her a few moments to realise that pressure was in fact a little foot pressing firmly into her skin. She turned over and saw William sprawled almost entirely horizontally between her and Mulder, both of them still sound asleep.

William was going through a phase of not wanting to sleep in his own bed. He would go down alright but inevitably wake up screaming at some point during the night and would generally not stop unless they took him back to bed with them. Scully had tried to persist with keeping him in his own bed last night but all it had meant was that she’d lost over two hours of sleep before finally giving up and bringing him back into their bed. She felt knackered and she hadn’t even got up yet.

Scully rolled back over and looked at the clock to see how long she had before the alarm sounded, meaning she would have to leave the bed. She guessed not long if the strong sunlight that was bursting through the curtains was anything to go by. Scully blinked harshly as she tried to focus on the small numbers of the clock next to her. _7.30_ it read as it finally came into view. _Shit!_ She was late – very late. She must have forgotten to set an alarm.

She rushed from the bed at once and set off in the direction of the bathroom, running straight into a half-packed box by the bathroom door. Pain ricocheted up her shin.

“Shit!” She exclaimed again, out loud this time, as she bent to rub the offending limb. She’d have a healthy bruise by the end of the day no doubt. There were boxes everywhere – they were moving from her apartment to the house they’d brought in less than a week. It was utter chaos.

“Scully?” Mulder croaked as she heard him stirring on the bed behind her. But she didn’t have the time or patience to respond so slammed the bathroom door instead.

By the time she had had perhaps the quickest shower of her life and re-entered the bedroom the bed was empty of both her husband and son. Unkindly she was glad – it meant she could get dressed and ready to leave without interruption, and she didn’t have the time for interruptions. She could faintly hear movement from the kitchen and what she thought was the sound of Will fusing but again she had no time to dwell on that as she plugged in the hairdryer and obliterated all other sound. 

Ten minutes later she walked out of the bedroom, dressed and looking remarkably put together all things considered. The whining she heard earlier had turned into full on crying and she entered the kitchen to the sight of Mulder bouncing a wailing Will on his hip as he attempted to make the baby’s breakfast one handed. There were more half packed boxes blocking her way to the centre of the room and all of the surfaces were littered with various foods and utensils. Mulder was messy enough when he had the use of both of his hands. Scully felt the irritation build up in her again. The place was a pigsty.

“I’m late for work, I forgot to set an alarm.” She said as way of greeting. She was aware of how pissy she sounded.

“And good morning to you.” Mulder replied with a slight smile. She found it only made her scowl more. “Here.” He said as he passed her a plate of toast.

“I don’t have time for this.” She told him honestly.

“You’re already late. You can take two minutes to eat some breakfast.”

“No I can’t, you haven’t met my supervisor – I’m going to be in enough hot water already.”

Scully had recently changed rotations at the hospital and her new medical supervisor seemed to have taken against her. It felt as if he were personally affronted that she had taken her medical degree straight to the FBI without practicing in medicine first. He made a point of reminding her and everyone else that just because she had been qualified for a number of years she was just as much of an amateur when it came to working on a ward as the other newly qualified doctors she was training with. No doubt she would be treated to endless comments about how being late may have been acceptable in the bureau but here they were trying to save lives. Scully had a headache already just thinking about it.

“No I haven’t but there is a thing or two I’d like to say to him if I did.”

“Yes and that is why you will never meet him.”

As they’d been speaking Will’s cries had only gotten louder and Mulder’s rocking seemed to be doing little to help. Will looked up at her and started reaching for her, crying all the more as he realised he could not get to her from where he was. Scully dropped the untouched toast onto the top of the nearest box and took a struggling Will from Mulder’s arms. His cries quietened a little but they didn’t stop.

“Muma… Muma…” He sobbed pathetically into Scully’s shoulder.

“What’s up with him?” She asked as she started her own rocking technique.

“He seems to have decided he doesn’t want you to leave today.” Mulder stated matter-of-factly without looking up from his task. Scully flushed with renewed frustration.

“Great, just what I ordered: a side of maternal guilt to go with this already shitty day.” Mulder said nothing. Will’s crying lowered to a whimper as Scully continued to study the holy mess that was her kitchen. “I don’t know what you have planned for today but can you please try and get some packing done.”

“Yep, it’s on my list.”

“Well it’s been on your list for the last three days.” She replied irritably. She was working twelve hour shifts at the hospital at the moment – she needed him to step up but he’d been as good as useless the last couple of days. She wasn’t in the mood to tolerate it anymore.

“And I’ll get to it. It’s not exactly easy to do with a toddler running around the place.” He said just as irritably.

She didn’t know what his problem was. He wasn’t the one that had been up half the night with their son and was now about to head out to stand on their feet till god knows when. He’d offered to get up with Will in the night but she’d declined knowing that he would just bring him straight back into their bed. She thought she could win last night if she stuck it out. She’d been wrong.

“I know that. But we need get it done otherwise we’re not going to be ready to go. God, why did we pick a date so close to the holidays to move?” Scully asked no one in particular.

“I said I’d do it.” Mulder growled.

She was taken aback. He rarely spoke to her in that way, even if they were bickering. Again she felt an indignant anger swell in her. How dare he speak to her in that way when she was just trying to get them all sorted.

“I thought you were late, shouldn’t you be going?” He asked as he gestured for Scully to hand Will back over. She did so without comment. As soon as Will left her arms he started to full on wail again. “I know,” Mulder said flatly. “Isn’t it just awful being stuck here with me all day.” He wrestled a flailing Will into his highchair. The crying was reaching new levels and Scully’s headache had begun to pound. She needed to escape the noise and the atmosphere before one of them said something they really couldn’t take back.

“I’ll see you tonight then.”

“Yep.” Mulder answered, again without looking at her.

As she turned to leave she saw him pick up the uneaten toast and throw it in the general direction of the bin with an air of disgust. She had no idea what had gotten under his skin – all she knew was that it had made her even later and pissed her off all the more. He was infuriating. With a huff she slammed the front door, quite glad she would not have to see him again for several hours.

***

Scully’s day progressed exactly as she thought it would – she was over fifteen minutes late to the ward and Doctor Peterson had had a mini field day with it, managing to throw in digs about the FBI, her age and the fact she dared to be a working mother. And although she knew it wasn’t actually possible, she could have sworn he’d somehow made the ward three times as busy as it usually was so she’d barely had time to go to the bathroom let alone grab some food. By late afternoon she was utterly exhausted but at least she had been kept so busy she hadn’t had a chance to dwell on Mulder and his mood that morning or worry about whether he had actually packed a single box yet.

She was just sitting down for what might have been the first time that day when Jill one of the other trainees approached her carrying a file and a friendly smile.

“Sorry to bother you.” Jill said genuinely. Scully liked Jill and that was the only reason she didn’t tell her where to go immediately. “I’ve just had the x-rays back from this morning and… I’m confused. Can you have a look with me?”

“Of course.” Scully sounded more enthusiastic than she felt. She stayed sitting and opened the file, holding the x-rays up to the light and was about to start studying them when six digits in the top right hand corner caught her eye. _11.27.02._ At once she felt sick. “Is it the 27th today?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Shit!” Scully exclaimed for god knows how many times that day. She’d forgotten – she had totally and completely forgotten. There were instant tears in her eyes and it took all of her will power not to let them fall. Not only had she forgotten the anniversary of the most traumatic day of his life but she had been a major bitch to him that morning. She had been so busy lately with work and the move and Will and her Mom bugging her about Thanksgiving plans. But it was no excuse. She didn’t know how she was going to even begin to make it up to him. Scully brought her head into her hands as she let the feelings of guilt and shame surround her.

“You forgot a wedding anniversary or something?” Jill asked with a smile in her voice. If only – that might have been forgivable.

“Something like that.” Scully said flatly.

She sniffed and tried to suck back in her emotion – there was nothing she could do about it now, two-thirds of the way through a shift. She was trying to decide whether to call him when she could or wait till she got home to grovel in person. _Mulder please forgive me for being such a selfish, stupid, thoughtless wife._ Scully shuddered. And he’d made her toast this morning and she’d refused it and he’d thrown it away. God. Fresh tears built behind her eyes.

“Are you okay?” Jill asked in concern. Scully nodded and at last turned her attention back to the x-rays. It looked blurrier the more she tried to blink away her tears. “Go if you need to. I’ll cover for you.”

“No, it’s okay. Peterson is on enough of a warpath with me today as it is.”

“Peterson is an asshole.” Jill stated. Scully couldn’t help but smile. Yes, he was. “What he said to you earlier was out of order and probably a disciplinary offence. You should report him. Anyway you know he’ll head off home in the next half hour or so – it’s only his minions he expects to stay into the evening. I’ll cover for you until then.”

“What about these?” Scully asked, gesturing to x-rays still in her hands.

“It’s nothing that can’t wait till tomorrow.” That was true, unfortunately the lady who’s x-rays they were holding was not going anywhere anytime soon. “Go home Dana.” Jill smiled kindly at her. She handed back the x-rays with a thanks and dashed out of the ward before she could talk herself out of it.

***

Scully entered the apartment, unsure of what she would find. She thought back to this date a year ago when Will had only been a few months old. She’d still been with the bureau then and even though Mulder had insisted she didn’t need to she had taken the day off and spent most of it watching him like a hawk, looking for any kind of oncoming breakdown. She felt guilty to admit that her taking the day had not been entirely about making sure he was okay – she was also worried about what would happen if he went into meltdown whilst in sole custody of Will.

Considering how Mulder had behaved that day she was ashamed for even thinking that way. He had kept telling her he was fine and had planned a picnic at the park for them all. He’d played with Will and laughed and chatted like it was any other day. She’d been surprised. And then later that night when Will was asleep and they’d been watching TV cuddled together on the couch, he’d suddenly looked over to her with tears in his eyes and asked her if she thought Samantha would have loved their son. Scully’s heart had broken for him all over again. And this year she’d left him to suffer on his own.

“Mama!” Will called as soon as she opened the door.

He was sitting on the couch amidst a small mountain of blankets and cuddly toys watching his favourite cartoon. He looked and sounded like a totally different child to one she had left that morning. His eyes were bright and his smile beaming. She suspected a longer-than-usual nap may have been involved somewhere and although that probably meant they would pay for it later at bedtime, she was happy to see him looking so happy.

Scully walked over and scooped him up as he bestowed sticky, post-dinner kisses to her face. She breathed in his warm baby scent, letting it relax her a little. Will pulled back and she noticed a healthy amount of pasta sauce staining the front of his t-shirt.

“Did you have spaghetti for dinner?” Will nodded and pointed to his t-shirt to prove it. Scully laughed. “Dada’s special spaghetti, was it yummy?” Will nodded again.

He loved Mulder’s spaghetti though neither of them were sure why – it was no different from the spaghetti she or her Mom or anyone else made, in fact it was quite a bit more basic. But for Will nothing in the world was better to eat than Mulder’s, and only Mulder’s, spaghetti. The fact that he had made Will his favourite meal was a good sign, wasn’t it? It meant he was coping with today, behaving like normal. 

Scully looked around absentmindedly while she continued to cuddle Will close to her. After a moment or two she realised what was different about the apartment – all of the half packed boxes that had been littered everywhere had been transformed into neatly stacked and sealed full boxes. They were even labelled. They bookshelves had been emptied and other small furniture had been packed up. And best of all there were now easily accessible walkways between all of the rooms. Mulder had done exactly what she had asked, with bells on. It made her feel a lot worse. She could hear him moving around in the kitchen, presumably tidying away Will’s dinner things or perhaps doing more packing in there. She knew she couldn’t put off seeing him any longer.

“Okay, you watch your show. Mommy will be back in a minute.” She said as she placed Will back in his blanket fort. He didn’t fight her at all just carried on smiling away at her, utterly melting her heart.

Scully found Mulder in the kitchen as he was finishing up washing the dishes. Much the same as the living room he had made a lot of progress with packing in there too. He stood with his back to her, hunched over the sink.

“Hey.” She said softly to announce her presence. He jumped slightly and turned to look at her, the surprise clear on his face.

“Hi. You’re back early.”

He looked tired but his eyes were clear and focused. He looked okay. She found she was breathing a sigh of relief before she could stop herself. She reached him in two large steps and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him as close to her as she could manage while he, much slower moving than her, wrapped his arms around her back.

“I’m sorry.” Scully whispered hotly against his neck as she continued to cling to him. “I’m a terrible wife.”

“No you’re not.” He replied with some confusion.

“I am. I was a bitch to you this morning and I forgot what today was.”

“It’s okay.” Mulder reassured her as he finally understood what she was talking about. He squeezed her closer to him for a moment. She pulled away just enough to be able to see him.

“No it’s not. Are you okay?” Her hand stroked its way over his cheek. He nodded before he spoke:

“I’m okay.” She searched his face trying to decipher whether that was the truth or not. “I am.” Mulder insisted. “It turns out you don’t have much time to wallow in self-pity when you’re trying to keep a seventeen-month old entertained and pack up an entire apartment.” He gave her a little smile but she only frowned. Everything he said just made her feel guiltier. “Scully, I’m okay.” It was Mulder’s turn to reach out and stroke her face as if he was trying to erase her frown with his fingertips.

“It looks amazing in here. You must have worked flat out.”

“Don’t worry I took plenty of breaks to play with the farmyard animals and the trainset and to watch frankly an unhealthy amount of pre-school television.” He teased gently. To this she did finally smile. She thought about how he used to spend this day in a pit of self-disgust and shame and she was hit suddenly with just how much he had changed for the sake of their son, their family, and just how much she loved him for that.

“I love you.” She told him seriously.

“I…”

“No listen to me… I love you and Will loves you. We love you so much and you mean the world to us.” For the first time since she’d arrived home he looked emotional. Mulder nodded and dipped his head to lean it against hers. “I don’t deserve you.” Scully confessed in a whisper. He sniffed loudly.

“Of course you do.” His voice was thick but his words were dismissive as they always were when she tried to tell him things like this. Scully held onto him tighter.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

She wasn’t always as good as she should be at telling him that but she hated that he struggled to see it. A couple of tears dropped from his eyes and she leaned up and kissed him fully on the mouth before he had the chance to back out of the embrace. He kissed her back, opening his mouth to invite her tongue inside and sighing heavily against her when she accepted the invitation. They kissed for several long moments as she tried to pour everything she felt for him into the embrace. When they separated she could see he was still silently crying as he leant his forehead against her shoulder. She placed little butterfly kisses over the parts of his face that she could reach.

“What can I do? Tell me what to do to make it better.” She implored him in a whisper.

“Keep kissing me like that.”

“Deal.”

Scully tilted his chin back with her fingers until she could reach his lips again. She kissed him firmly and let him walk her backwards to the kitchen cabinet, pressing her into it with all of his weight. Although he was moving slowly and with no real intent she was aware they were reaching a level of intensity that was definitely unideal with a very awake toddler in the next room, but she didn’t want to deny him any of the comfort he was clearly taking from her body. He had just slipped his hands up the back of her shirt when they were interrupted.

“Mama… Dada…” Will called happily from the doorway, completely oblivious to what he was interrupting. He toddled in and raised his arms towards them, for once indiscriminate as to who he wanted to lift him. Scully bent down and picked him up, throwing Mulder a smile as he wandered back over to the sink to finish the dishes.

“Has your show finished?” Scully asked Will who blew raspberries in response – generally they figured that meant yes. Will laid his head on her shoulder and started playing with the cross that hung from her neck, quite contented. It was amazing what a nap and his favourite meal could do to the temperament of this child.

“So how was it with your jack-hole boss today?” Mulder asked as if he hadn’t just been crying into her shoulder and then practically laying her out on the kitchen surface less than thirty seconds ago. He had developed the much needed skill of being able to switch from lover to parent instantaneously. 

“Pretty much how I expected it to be. The way he talks to me… I don’t think I’m going to put up with it for much longer.” Scully answered, thinking back to what Jill had said earlier. She was beginning to think Jill had a point.

“Good. I don’t why you’ve been putting up with it at all. He’s lucky I’ve never overheard it.”

Scully smiled to herself. She didn’t need Mulder to fight her battles and she would kill him if he ever tried to but it was endearing how pissed off he got on her behalf. Mulder finished his task and turned back round to face them. She felt Will shift in her arms as he looked over at his father.

“Dada… Dada sad…” Will said, frowning harshly. Mulder’s eyes were still red and puffy.

“No, I’m okay bud.” Mulder replied as he reached out to stroke Will’s cheek but Will was unconvinced – he all but launched himself out of Scully’s arms and into Mulder’s, who was luckily close enough to catch him.

“Dada…” Will said again. He was beginning to sound upset himself.

“Kiss it better Will… kiss Dada better.” Scully encouraged. Will obliged his mother’s request by planting big, sloppy kisses across Mulder’s eyes and nose. Mulder scrunched up his face at the onslaught but was laughing throughout as he became wetter and wetter.

“Hmm… thank you… kisses from both of my favourite people in the space of five minutes… it must be my lucky day.”

Mulder stopped abruptly as he realised what he’d said. Scully held her breath, waiting to see if his slip of the tongue would crumble him. She couldn’t have blamed him if it did. But he recovered quickly, shaking his head and returning the favour by depositing equally slobbery kisses to Will’s cheeks. The little boy squealed in delight. Scully approached them as Mulder stilled his attack, Will giggling away in his arms. She stretched onto her tiptoes and kissed Mulder firmly on the mouth. He smiled against her and then Will squished his face against both of theirs, essentially engaging them all in a three way kiss that was as disgusting as it was sweet. Scully and Mulder grimaced at the ambush of fresh baby salvia but Will only continued to laugh.

Scully watched as Mulder closed his eyes and breathed in the sound of their son. She was reminded of that night three years ago when his journey to find Samantha had finally ended and he’d looked up at the sky and told her that he was free. That was how he looked now: happy and free. Mulder opened his eyes and smiled at her and she knew they’d be okay. 


End file.
